Parents of young children, who go through a divorce, have to put a long distance plan into action, if one parent moves to another town. The purpose is to ensure that the children suffer as little as possible during this traumatic time. Very often, the court order of the divorce lays down a long distance plan, which parents have to adhere to very strictly. A long distance plan works well if parents continue to be friends with each other, and are determined to put the children’s needs above anything else. Divorced couples should realize that children need nurturing and support from both parents. Further, for the healthy upbringing of the children, both the parents should share responsibility, and maintain a civil relationship and cooperative attitude as well. The children need the emotional, physical and economic support of both parents to remain unscarred by the divorce.
The advantage of a long distance plan is there are no surprises. The children are aware in advance of the time they are to spend with the non-resident parent. This is particularly important for the children to continue to feel secure despite the absence of one parent. Parents should make sure that they adhere to the schedule, and cooperate with each other during any unforeseen difficulty. The time spent with the non-resident parent may be limited, but the resident parent should ensure that children speak to their absent parent regularly on the telephone. The expenses for the trip to visit the parent are usually predetermined, but any other special requirement for the trip should be intimated in advance. Little kids’ bags should be packed with thought, with clean clothes appropriate for the holiday plan.
In order that a long distance
parenting plan is successful, the parents should keep their lines of communication open at least for the sake of the children. The little ones should never be used to relay messages to each other: parents should talk to each other directly. Timings should be kept very strictly, and any change should be intimated in advance. This way, the children can be prepared in advance, and there are no surprises or disappointments. Parents should not talk critically about the absent parent, or fight with the spouse when they are together. Neither parent should pry about what happened during the visit, or at home. Children should continue to feel secure about both parents even if Mummy and Daddy don’t stay together.
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James Gunaseelan
James Gunaseelan writes for Leading matrimonial portal for Brahmins brides and grooms
