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Tough Love Parenting: When, How, And Why
By Andrew Green
Parenting is the most important job anyone will ever take on. It’s the way you do your best to contribute to a better future by preparing your children to make the best of it, and also hopefully doing what’s needed to make it better for them.
In the end, there will be many great memories, and probably a few problems that came up along the way. It’s your job to offset those problems and make their outcomes the best you can. You may have varying levels of success at it; however this articles attempts to give you better odds.
When is tough love necessary?
Times along the way, you will come across situations that are often awkward and can bring many heated moments of thought; such as teenagers sneaking out of the house at night and getting into trouble. It might just be a matter of catching them in the act, or it might come to your attention from others.
These are situations where if allowed to continue without discussion and boundaries set, odds are more trouble will follow. Often it comes with peer pressure, and you may even find other parents with varying problems from the same incidents.
How is tough love carried out?
First off let’s shake off the stereotypes of tough love parenting. It’s not all about pulling out a huge switch, and beating them to near dead. It also isn’t about locking them up in a room with nothing else. It’s not intended in the slightest to be abusive. In fact cruel means will just push them off further, and leave the problem to continue elsewhere.
Often the strongest weapon used is the word “No”. When the future is at stake, you have to stand your ground solid. You might even need to enlist allies in the process. These allies might include family, friends, mental health professionals, authorities, and others.
It can be a varying list of grounding, keeping watch, and maybe even intervention explaining to your child that what’s happening will take them where they don’t want to go. They don’t know it all, and when they are closer to knowing it will be too late
to turn around. The best you can do is helping them see the negative outcomes and get them striving for better alongside the rest of their family. But hold your ground with any legitimate means necessary!
Why use tough love parenting?
Long-term, these serious problems can lead to lifelong problems for your child, if they aren’t set right as soon as possible. Some of these problems for them lead to problems with the law, or worse yet, lifelong health conditions and possibly even early death.
Some of the most known involve using drugs and alcohol, getting involved in the wrong crowds around trouble, among many other things that come about each year. Serious things don’t end unless someone stops them. They grow to larger problems with more consequences.
You have spent a lot of loving time raising your child, and giving up now should never be an option. You need to stand with them, help them through to a positive outcome, and in the end both of you have grown stronger and wiser as a result.
In The End...
With 100% success you will find they grow up better than some others can imagine. Of course 100% is in the eye of the beholder. Success isn’t one set definition.
Should your child come up able to live well from their own actions and be a part of everyday life with good results, you know you succeeded. Regardless you will always love them, and learn more on tough love all the way. Later in life they may very well look back well at when you were carrying out some tough love parenting.
You can find a lot more information on tough love online, as well as many more specific situations and suggestions. Where you are reading now is a good place to start. Read more about tough love parenting along with lots of other information to help you be a better parent.
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