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Team Work As A Parenting Skill
By Dr. Noel Swanson.
The most effective skill in establishing child discipline is working together. It is effective in dealing with behavior problems of children of all age groups and children of your own or your spouse’s from a previous relationship. Biological or foster parents can benefit from this skill of team work.
A common ploy of children's behavior is to ask a parent for something, either an item or an activity. If the answer is not desirable, they turn around and go to the other parent. This can lead to issues when the parents come together and realize each gave a different answer for the activity. The parents are now faced with a serious problem.
This is why working together as parents is essential to the welfare and stability of a home and well as a valuable skill. The first thing to do is to sit down and have a meeting - just the parents - and work out a system that works for you as parents.
You can divide the activities between you; that is the most practical and effective team work. After all, you can’t agree on everything, but if you divide the areas of activity, each has the freedom to carry it out to the best of their ability. For example, one parent can handle outdoor activities while the other handles indoor activities..
Remember, children should see their parents as one unit working together in harmony. They must know that they have to seek the approval of both parents in each situation. This arrangement works very well where both parents are available.
No matter which method you decide to use for making decisions, all parents need
to agree on the rules and steps to follow. Once you've decided, then go to your children and explain the situation.
If you as parents can work together as a team, your older children will understand the situation, and will stop future parent playing. If they are not old enough to understand, you can prevent parent playing from occurring in the first place. Working together is the foundation of parenting.
Apart from establishing child behavior, parents need to work together to take crucial decisions like schooling and education of the children, faith and religion that they will follow and other important matters. Both parents should be in agreement about how to bring up their children. However, agreeing to disagree is also a part of team work, as long as parents can be cordial and pleasant about it. The important thing is that children should feel that parents work as a team. You can iron out your differences alone but must present a picture of working together to the children. Dr. Noel Swanson is a child psychiatrist who specializes in child behaviour problems. He writes for a fascinating website with lots of parenting help that is well worth a visit, not to mention his must-read book, The GOOD CHILD Guide.
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