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"trading Spouses" Teaches Relationship Building Through Cooking
By Laura Bankston, Fri Dec 9th
Last night I watched a television show. It was rather hilariousand disturbing at the same time. I was actually talking to my mother when I first heard about it.I called her to chat and she told me she was watching this showcalled “Trading Spouses”. Isn’t that name terrible? I couldn’t believe my Mom was watching such a thing.
But, after she told me about it, it sounded hilarious, so Idecided to check it out when it came on in my time zone (we havea four hour time difference). And she was right, it washilarious. So, I watched it with my husband last night. Now, I’m not a big reality show fan. So, I’ll get to the pointin a second. So, anyway, last night’s show was about two husbands that tradedplaces. The one was a New York City lawyer who lived inManhattan – and he changed places with a low income worker wholived in the country in Georgia. (Okay, and just to clarify for those of you whose minds might begoing elsewhere – there was no hanky panky going on…) So, you can imagine the difference in life style! The country guy had his very first plane ride to get to NewYork, and he was blown away by the speed of life. The rich man’skids were great; but his wife was a witch. Shocked that he wasnever at a restaurant that required dressing up, bragging abouttheir beach home being worth $2-3 million, freaking out whensomeone walked into the kitchen with sand on their shoes, andnagging and pushing the son about getting his bar mitzvah speechright – especially since the affair was costing about as much asa wedding. They city guy was in culture shock too. The house was run downand messy; and the kids were NIGHTMARES! They were totally outof control. Unfortunately, I have seen kids that bad before in real life –but it’s been awhile. They were hitting, fighting, ignoringtheir mom, telling the man to “shut up” – can you believe it?And this was good behavior in front of the television crew andvisitors? It was really awful. So, here were two examples of BAD family relationships. A richfamily with kids that behaved - but they couldn’t enjoy theirfamily life because it was to much “go, go go” with a Mom thatwas wound up so tight that she’d wring the enjoyment out ofeverything. And a low income family with a family life – but onethat sucked because the Mom couldn’t stand to be around her kids. Oh – and you know what the Mom said about
her bratty kids? Shesaid that she “tried everything”. She tried sitting down andtalking with them, she tried taking away toys, she tried sittingthem in time-out. She tried it all, but nothing worked. Hmmmmm.Seems she left out THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE! The controlled,loving, whack across the caboose. When are parents going to “get it” that loving, proper,consistent discipline when they’re young means that they’ll becontrolled, loving, children that behave when they are 6, 7, andup. AND – children can’t be happy if they aren’t disciplined. Youcan see it on their faces. Whiney, out-of-control children aremiserable. And so is everyone around them, for that matter. When’s the last time that you’ve seen a miserable, welldisciplined child? You haven’t. I mean, there are a few momentsof bad attitude or whatever that quickly goes away withcorrection; but they are basically happy, content, and secure. So, anyway, back to my story. Each family was getting $50,000 for the trade. But the catch wasthat the visiting spouse made the decision of how the otherfamily would spend their $50,000. The rich man’s answer to fixthe low income family? Buy the house, remodel it – basicallyimprove material possessions. The country man’s answer to fix the wealthy family? Familyrelationship counseling, cooking lessons, and family vacationtime. And you guessed it – the rich wife flipped out – she wasplanning on using the $50,000 to pay for her son’s bar mitzvah!! But, I’ll say one thing. The country man was right on for whatthat family needed. Less focus on “things” and more focus on“relationships”. Actually, he was downright clever. He showed America the #1 wayto build family relationships…Cooking together. Ahem. Ring a bell? Cooking creates family bonds – across all ages – across allabilities. Too bad the country man didn’t have more of thatwisdom to have disciplined kids too. So, if you’re already ahead of the game with well behaved kids –don’t forget about the relationship side of things. And don’toverlook the easiest, most funnest ( he, he), I mean “fun” wayto spend time with you kids – COOKING!!!! About the author:Laura Bankston is author of “Homeschool Cooking in a Box” andthe “Homeschool Cookbook”. She currently home schools her threechildren, maintains home school support websites, and managestheir family-owned service business. For information on hercurriculum and free home school support services, please visithttp://www.homeschoolcookbook.com
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